The car behind me on College street flashed its lights as I slowed down for the light. I was perplexed and irritated. Did he want me to run the yellow turning red light just to appease his impatience? In the past two weeks I’ve noticed a distinct increase in the pace and energy on the streets of Toronto (which is I’m sure playing itself out in other cities and towns across the country). It’s as if we all lost track of time and suddenly the holidays are upon us and we’re racing the clock. I personally detest that rushy pants aggressive energy. Personally I feel it adds to a hardening of my heart and mind which is in distinct opposition to the qualities we are meant to be focusing on at this time of year. So I’ve decided to challenge myself by taking my attention off my “to do” list and focusing on my “to be” list. My intention is to focus on my state of BEING now and in the coming weeks. This can be as simple as setting an intention before a holiday party - “ I want to have one meaningful conversation at this event.” It can also encompass greater challenges including patience with family and remembering grace and compassion in the midst of stressful dynamics. For me it is a practice. Some moments I’ll remember and some I won’t. But if I can take a breath, check in with myself and keep coming back to the question of how I want to BE, this allows me to be more conscious of my choice in the moment.
The other element that feels intricately connected to my state of being is the deeper awareness of trust. Am I trusting life? If trust comes into the equation, I find it easier to sink into a place within me that has faith that things have a way of working out, which has nothing to do with me trying to control people or outcomes. If I remember trust as a foundation then my priorities have a way of becoming more clear, and I’m less likely to get caught up in the flurry of doing.